if anyone ever calls you a slut just say ‘and yet i still won’t fuck you’ and then blow them a kiss as you saunter away because that’s the closest they’re ever gonna get to your magnificence, o smaug, chiefest and greatest of calamaties
Ladies real talk
No matter what happened between us, or how long its been since we last talked, I still care, I wanna know you’re doing and feeling. I don’t stalk you but just enough to know you’re okay because you’re still that person I miss and the person who will always be in my heart.
DID YOU KNOW: WHEN U KNOCK ON SOMEONE’S BEDROOM DOOR UR NOT SUPPOSED TO OPEN THE DOOR RIGHT AFTER U KNOCK WHAT KIND OF WARNING IS THAT IF IM IN THE NUDE IM NOT GIONG TO BE ABLE TO PUT CLOTHES ON IN 0.2 SECONDS U PIECE OF SHIT WAIT UNTIL I SAY U CAN COME IN